Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
