i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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