Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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