Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
