i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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