the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
BRING THE BAGELS
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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