Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
