Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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