I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
