eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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