I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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