worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
