all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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