i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize