I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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