my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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