so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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