There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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