East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
