chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
