I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
