Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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