So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
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Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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