Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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