There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
