i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
