is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
