mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
