I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize