It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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