WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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