then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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