To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nutella sex= disaster
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
