i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
