i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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