I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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