I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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