Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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