So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
