I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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