This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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