It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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