Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My feet surprised me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
