Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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