she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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