you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
