they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
