no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
MIDGETS
????
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
