k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
