She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
