I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize