are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
