too bad you live with your parents still
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
