What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
