it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Small penises have feelings too.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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