I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
