i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
