Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
