You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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