btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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