So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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