Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We talked him into tasing himself.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
