Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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