He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
